My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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