that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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