I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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