I heard we made out
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
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