i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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