oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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