well I can't set my house on fire every night
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize