Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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