Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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