How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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