i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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