Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize