You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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