What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
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At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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