i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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