I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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