so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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