My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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