I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
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He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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