the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
A+ Viking dick
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