Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize