He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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