White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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