I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize