i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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