i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize