Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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