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I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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