Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
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He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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