I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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