Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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