it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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