Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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