Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My bed smells like the plague
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize