you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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