we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
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We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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