Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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