i just had sex bonerless
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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