maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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