Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
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He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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