I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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