There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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