Tell her she can't have a vagina
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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