I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize