I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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