I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize