I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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