I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
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Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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