you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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