all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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